Hadn’t been reading my Streams in the Desert devotional for a few years and my sister in law, Jenny Stump, shared a few with me so I thought I would start reading it again. (thanks Jenny! )
Today’s Streams read:
“Our capacity for knowing God is enlarged when we are brought by Him into circumstances that cause us to exercise our faith. So when difficulties block our path, we may thank God that He is taking time to deal with us, and then we may lean heavily on Him.
Today’s seemed so perfectly fitting for our lives the past few weeks.
About 3 weeks ago I got a cut under my fingernail while putting a load of clothes in. It seemed to get worse and worse. Eventually during my physical for our adoption, I had the doctor look at and she told me to soak it and she put me on Bactrim. A week later it was not better. Went back in, this doctor said he thought I had an ingrown nail and had me come in two days later to do an “in office” little surgery. He said it wasn’t an ingrown nail, told me to not soak it, put me on more antibiotics and then said to come back in one week. So I thought we were on our way out of this mess…so Ella and I celebrated at Hometown treats and went to Tate Park. As I was playing with Ella by sticking my fingers through the holes she backed up quickly three steps and fell out a huge opening on the play structure falling flat on her back from close to 6 feet up. She definitely had the wind knocked out of her and I felt like she mostly landed on her back, but I was scared to death. I called our pediatrician who said I could bring her in or keep my eye out for her to be acting weird, vomiting etc She seemed great the rest of the day until the evening. We thought she was acting weird and then threw up a little…so we called our pediatrician and he wanted us to take her to Mott’s to have her evaluated. I was so scared the whole way there; feeling like this was my entire fault! She ended up throwing up more there and they gave her something to help the nausea and they kept her and us overnight to wait until she was more awake to evaluate her. They concluded she had an unlucky day with falling and getting a stomach bug. Sunday night Ron threw up to confirm this diagnosis. Needless to say, we were all so relieved and I think Ella got more hugs that day than any other!
The brakes went out on the silver van and then by Monday my finger was still not right. I ended up going to the dermatologist to have him diagnose me with a pyogenic granuloma and he gave me two shots in my finger and then burnt off the mass or whatever it was. He said when our body is trying to heal once in a while it sends too much blood to the area and it swells like that. I then broke out in hives from the Bactrim.
All this to say that we have felt the enemy attacking and putting us in a place of humble submission and obedience to the Lord. I always feel like these mini periods of trial are followed by God moving in Haiti! I know that so many of you are going through much more difficult times of trial right now, please know you are in our prayers.
This was my prayer to Jesus today in my journal:
To walk in Your spirit, Lord, not out ahead, not lagging behind, but just with you is my prayer. To hear your voice whisper go right, go left, stop. Slow down, be still…….trust.
To trust You to know what is the best path for me to take. To know and trust that though I would have chosen a different road, that I cannot see what You see. That Your ways are not my ways and your ways are higher than my ways.
Your knowledge, wisdom and power are so beyond my understanding that I am best just allowing that to be so.
The Whys can overwhelm the peaceful trust and the joyful hope you long to give. To walk hand in hand with you each day, trusting You know the way……
This is my prayer. Amen.
Each and every day as a stay at home mom, there are so many choices of what to do. There is always more to do than I can get done and I am sure it will even be more so once the boys’ come home. But, it is in this way that I must seek Him and hear His voice and pray for Priority. Often what seems important to me is not what seems important to Him. The only way is allowing Him to lead, not me.